i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize