Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
When are your genitals available?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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