please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
