I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
