Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
