You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
