that's an acceptable place to lick
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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