My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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