I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
