Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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