I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
