no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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