omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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