I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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