How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
