She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Screwed.edu
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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