she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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