so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
