If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize