She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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