The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
