Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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