He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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