Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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