fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
