Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
