My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Randomize
