Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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