She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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