you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
