So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just cropdusted the office
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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