I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
