Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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