This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My breasts were aching with rage.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
