Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Randomize
