carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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