all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
