I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
