It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Moan for me like Helen Keller
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
