it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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