think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
