Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
