in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Oh god it's open bar.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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