im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Nicole vs. Life
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
