all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
