So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
