Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
