You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
