no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
