Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
