Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize