No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
