I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So much rum. So many feels.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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