Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
