I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
