Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
