Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
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