me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
