Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
