Swine flu. Run for my life!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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