I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
