"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Randomize
