They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
