i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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